A letter to Arsewipe...
I am only writing this because Stinky is playing Nickelbacks' Rockstar and has been since 7.30, over and over and i just thought how much you'd be hating it... :)
7 and a half weeks ago when you said you wanted a divorce i felt my life had ended. I totally believed 110% that i wouldn't be able to carry on without you here and at one point we were heading to the XXXXXX Centre because i felt so inconsolable, and dare i say now, suicidal, i cried for 10 days straight, i lost 1/2 stone (not complaining about that)... I 'thought' you were my everything. I ADORED you and i thought i loved you so very very much..
...i started cleaning out my bedroom and i came across 40 - 50 pages of letters/notes that i had written through our marriage when we had a row, when you said/did something mean, i made a note of it. There were so many letters that i had written and never given you... Reading through them made me sob. I could see that our marriage was totally one sided and i had been fooling myself for such a long time, maybe the entire relationship?
After i stopped crying i sat back and realised that THIS was definitely the best outcome for us. We were never going to last...and that's okay. I am (now) fine with that. We are so different and that's okay too. I am not harbouring any hate or ill feeling toward you. I am pleased that you are now getting the life you have missed out on for the last 6-7 years. I am so gratetful that you stayed with me for that time...it wasn't a good time BUT i did love you and i personally don't regret (despite all the shit that happened) a second of it. I am NOT saying i would repeat it....but glad i experienced it because it taught me SO much.
Like you, i am the happiest i have been since i became agoraphobic 11 years ago. I am fighting this...i am making tiny amounts of progress and i realise that perhaps my recovery was being stalled because of the depression... I am no longer depressed, i am not seeing my therapist and i have been discharged from the Psychiatrist - all this is 7 1/2 weeks and ALL this from being dumped....who would have thought it? I've renewed my friendships and you know how much that means to me, just that one thing makes all this worth it. If i had nothing else this makes me more than happy.
...my lovely almost ex husband....i wish you all the happiness you deserve with everything you do and i absolutely mean that.
Miss Sarah x
7 and a half weeks ago when you said you wanted a divorce i felt my life had ended. I totally believed 110% that i wouldn't be able to carry on without you here and at one point we were heading to the XXXXXX Centre because i felt so inconsolable, and dare i say now, suicidal, i cried for 10 days straight, i lost 1/2 stone (not complaining about that)... I 'thought' you were my everything. I ADORED you and i thought i loved you so very very much..
...i started cleaning out my bedroom and i came across 40 - 50 pages of letters/notes that i had written through our marriage when we had a row, when you said/did something mean, i made a note of it. There were so many letters that i had written and never given you... Reading through them made me sob. I could see that our marriage was totally one sided and i had been fooling myself for such a long time, maybe the entire relationship?
After i stopped crying i sat back and realised that THIS was definitely the best outcome for us. We were never going to last...and that's okay. I am (now) fine with that. We are so different and that's okay too. I am not harbouring any hate or ill feeling toward you. I am pleased that you are now getting the life you have missed out on for the last 6-7 years. I am so gratetful that you stayed with me for that time...it wasn't a good time BUT i did love you and i personally don't regret (despite all the shit that happened) a second of it. I am NOT saying i would repeat it....but glad i experienced it because it taught me SO much.
Like you, i am the happiest i have been since i became agoraphobic 11 years ago. I am fighting this...i am making tiny amounts of progress and i realise that perhaps my recovery was being stalled because of the depression... I am no longer depressed, i am not seeing my therapist and i have been discharged from the Psychiatrist - all this is 7 1/2 weeks and ALL this from being dumped....who would have thought it? I've renewed my friendships and you know how much that means to me, just that one thing makes all this worth it. If i had nothing else this makes me more than happy.
...my lovely almost ex husband....i wish you all the happiness you deserve with everything you do and i absolutely mean that.
Miss Sarah x
posted by Sarah♥ at
7/22/2009 10:22:00 am
2 Comments
